An Idiot’s Guide to Cancer


Don’t for a second presume you are the only person in the world whose life has been touched by cancer and you know it all. Agree with me, or curse me for what I write below, I couldn’t give a f*ck. I just want you guys to think for yourselves.

When your body cells go AWOL, that is pretty much cancer. Cancer is the uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in the body. Cancerous cells are also called malignant cells. Symptoms of cancer depend on the type and location of the cancer (

Cancer was pretty much non-existent before the dawn of the industrial revolution which brought with it the onset of agriculture and eventually processed foods. Hmm. In my humble opinion, as a hippy and weird-ass nutritional therapist, cancer is mostly caused by a thing called malnourishment. Yes, we in the West suffer from malnutrition. Just a different kind than the Ethiopians. Skinny, fat, skinny-fat, what’s the difference. According to Zenn (2012) by getting the wrong foods, or not enough of the right foods, this creates an environment where cancerous cells (a normal process) do not die off, but multiply and can eventually take over. To put it in idiot terms; your body is simply not armed or equipped to stop the cancer from spreading. Sorry if you are someone with a f*cking fantabulous diet who developed cancer, there are other reasons as I list below – but nourishment still plays an epic part in the battle. There are three stages to cancer. Initiation, Promotion, Progression. It can take between 10 and 20 years for a person to even know they have cancer. To give you a rough idea – it can take one year for a single cell to become 12 cells and about a decade for it become detectable. More often than not, detection by modern medicine comes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late. The cancer has already been spreading for years…. PREVENTION is key.

Risk factors for developing cancer:

Smoking – 30%

Poor diet – 30% – Cancer cells can be kept in check when the body is well nourished. So with the other risk factors – with a healthy diet, cancer can be treated and prevented…

Hereditary factors – 15% Genetics accounts for 15% of all cancer. Ever heard someone say: “My Dad had prostate cancer, I will get it too, there is nothing I can do to prevent it, so f*ck it.” Don’t be an idiot. Please.

Infection – 5%

Work-related exposure – 5% e.g. people who work in dye factories tend to suffer from bowel cancer.

Alcohol – 3%

Pollution – 2%

UV ray exposure – 2%

Drugs – 1%

Other – 1% (sitting too close to the television, holding your face in a certain way for too long, cursing too much, going outside with wet hair)

(Foods to Fight Cancer, 2012)

Go to hospital, get diagnosed with a terminal cancer. If it is bad…the doctor will give you a time frame of roughly how long you have left. And depending on how bad your prognosis is, you may be booked in for chemotherapy. Otherwise they may just send you home to…die. It is all about PREVENTION.
As we discovered in a previous blog, sugar feeds cancerous cells. You should ideally be starving them. Cancer patients should not drink six cans of coca-cola in succession. This actually happened this week:
Hospital dietitian: “Sugar has no role to play with cancer.”

Me: “Say again?”

Hospital dietitian: ”Sugar has no role to play cancer.”

Me: ”Oh, that is what you said, I thought for a second there you might not be a total ass.”

I never really get angry. But this made me sooooooo frickin’ angry. Don’t ingest refined sugar, or even fruit juices if you have cancer!!! Don’t be that guy. When high quantities of sugar are ingested, the immune system is put under too much pressure as the body works to lower the high sugar levels in the blood. Someone with cancer needs their immune system to be functioning optimally in order to survive – don’t mess with this sh*t.

Nourishment CAN prevent and reverse disease. About 8 years ago, I myself had pre-cancerous cells and I was able to overcome it using sound nutrition. Basically, I ate like a right eejit. Once I got my diet right, the bad cells went away. It has been said many times that nutritional therapists are the doctors of the future. Why can’t doctors also become nutritional therapists? Then we’d really be onto something. The truth is, in 2013, medical professionals still do not fully understand what causes most diseases, nor do they know how to cure them. Doctors are basically trained to address symptoms, not causes. Do you know how much nutrition training a nurse in Ireland receives? NONE, and a doctor? I dated a medical student for about a year (RIP Jevon Newman) and learned that the UCD Medical School provides 1 week of nutrition training to their students FML!! From day one they are conditioned into thinking that drugs are pretty much the only way to work with anything. They are simply not trained in nutrition and prevention. According to Zenn (2012), out of 127 medical schools in the US, 70% do not require courses on nutrition or prevention and 30% do not offer any courses. And so they will not usually recommend any nutritional changes or suggest supplementation of pretty much any kind.

I have something quite serious to tell you. Are you sitting down for this? The world can be quite a dark place, and I don’t mean at night, smart ass. Chemotherapy is one of the main treatment protocols used by conventional medicine, worldwide, millions of people have undergone it. In fact, in the West, we all pretty much know someone who has passed away after a futile course of chemotherapy. ‘Sorry, there is nothing more we can do’.  Mmm…the doctors are sending YOUR loved one home, stating that there is NOTHING that can be done? Surely there is something that can be done, like minus what brought it on in the first place? Can it really be that simple? In sooooooooooooooo many cases it can. The doctor SHOULD tell you that you need to support your immune system and the most important step would be to supplement with vitamin D. What does vitamin D do? Oh, it can only HALT a certain percentage of cancers in its tracks (2012 World Cancer Summit). That percentage being 78%. Jaysus. Go lash some PurePharma D3 into you….now. Many people who have suffered from cancer more than once have decided that they will often refuse to go through the treatment again because they are convinced they will die from another bout and NOT from the actual cancer. Hmm. They know more than we do. Just sayin’.  They have cancer. So they finally decide to change the environment that caused the cancer in the first place. It is like Pacman. don’t give Pacman anything to eat and the game is over. Alas, common sense doth prevail!!

A recent British study* raised super-serious questions about chemotherapy, in particular the role it plays in hastening and even causing the death of late-stage cancer sufferers. For example, The Gerson Way can reverse the cancer of about 50% of terminal cancer patients. But you cannot make money on vegetables…

Conventional cancer treatment statistics are often overdressed. Take “Outsmart Your Cancer”, by Pierce. In this excellent book, the author outlines 6 main ways in which cancer statistics are manipulated to make them look better than they are. Here is a taster: To officially be ‘cured’ from cancer – it means you need to be alive for just 5 years after your initial diagnosis. Often, when a person receives conventional treatment for their cancer, they go back and live their life the exact same way they did before. What happens? The cancer comes back and very often, that person that you love, dies. How the f*ck is that a cure? And here follows another anger-inducing fact: lots of failed chemo cases are  omitted from published results – because they died. Seriously. That makes me laugh because it is just too ridiculous.

To reduce your cancer risk – these are the issues that needed to be addressed….yes it is pretty much ALL of the fun stuff. My bad: SMOKING, ALCOHOL, DIET, SLEEP, STRESS & EMOTIONS, EXERCISE (do some you lazy c*nt), TOXINS.

So if you, or someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, do some research and make an informed decision. I know only too well that the decision is a heart-wrenching one. I bid you well.

With an open mind…take a look into the following….

Essiac – see 

The Gerson Way Yes I know about the coffee enemas don’t bore me with that, but see the power of vegetable juicing. It makes sense. Watch this: I apologise about the jumper in the first scene, that’s sweater to everyone outside Ireland I guess. 

Crazy Sexy Cancer – if you are fortunate enough to sit at home on your ass all day, you may have seen this beautiful girl on Oprah.

Good reads:

Foods to Fight Cancer, 2012. Beliveau & Gingras

Don’t bother abusing me on this post, I have heard it all before. You all may think I am an idiot. But I am in fact the nicest person I know.

*Study carried out by the National Confidential Enquiry into Patient Outcome & Deaths. The enquiry’s members are drawn mainly from British medical royal colleges.

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